ProofWiki:Jokes/Mathematicians' Party

Once upon a time, all the mathematicians who had ever lived attended a great big party, in order to let their hair down and enjoy themselves for once.

Plenty of physicists attended, and quite a few chemists and biologists came too.

Our roving reporter was at the door, and these are some of the things he observed ...
 * Archimedes was found floating naked in the bath. He later agreed that, on balance, he'd screwed up.


 * Max Planck came, but stayed only a very short time.


 * Johann Bernoulli and Jacob Bernoulli got ejected from the party for sliding down the brachistochrones.


 * Kurt Gödel showed up precisely because he wasn't invited.


 * Werner Heisenberg may or may not have been there; we're not certain.


 * Aristotle definitely was there, or wasn't. But not both.


 * Hamilton went into every room once only, trying to find Euler, who passed through every door exactly once trying to find Hamilton.


 * Fermat claimed he would attend, then died.


 * Georg Cantor wasn't on the guest list (I can't count how many times that's happened).


 * Blaise Pascal reasoned he was better off attending than not.


 * Maria Agnesi thought it was a costume party due to a mistranslation, and showed up dressed as a witch.


 * Frank Ramsey spent much time socializing with a group of mutual friends or a group of mutual strangers.


 * Newton started up a fight with Leibniz regarding who arrived first.


 * Pavlov brought his dog, which immediately started chasing Schrödinger's cat.


 * Felix Hausdorff was unfortunately unable to attend; he sent his topologies.


 * Douglas Hofstadter managed to attend despite a horrible cold. He tried to make conversation but the only sounds he could make were "gurgle", "atishoo" and "bark".

''Many, many other mathematicians and physicists were there. Please tell any stories about them that you know.''