"We don't serve faster-than-light particles in here," says the barman.
A tachyon goes into a bar.
"Do you know how fast you were going?" asked the cop.
"You were actually travelling at 85 miles per hour," admonished the cop, sternly.
"Oh great," replied Heisenberg, angrily. "Now I'm lost!"
Deciding to give the car an inspection, the cop opens the trunk.
"Did you know you've got a dead cat in here?" he asks.